Lightning Slow

Image via WikipediaAn oxymoron: Two contradictory words put together, creating an entirely new meaning. Pretty ugly.

I feel like the extreme snail in my fish tank today. "Extreme snail?"...you ask. Yes, Turbanator, as we affectionately dubbed him, is lightning slow. I mean that in the most flattering way possible. He's ALL over that fish tank like white on rice. He slides up to the top and then throws himself off into the currents, skysurfing down onto the plants below. But he is a snail and no matter how fast he goes, he isn't going to be catching up to the fish anytime soon.

Why am I like him? Because no matter how fast I go, I'm not getting it all done in time. I was supposed to have the posts for this week written on Monday, which today isn't, etc...

Djinn are really fast. Like lightning fast (as opposed to the Turbanator). Some people even think they can fly. After all, how else could Genie possibly get all that stuff for Aladdin?

I wonder where I can get some of that "fast". Because short of replicating myself, I don't know how I'm going to:

1. get all the holiday gifts purchased and wrapped
2. arrange a birthday party for child number 1
3. attend a DAR meeting
4. visit my holiday parties
5. and polish a manuscript for querying by January 1st!

Abracadabra??